copyright 1998 Jim Chevallier

THE GOURMET
	
	No, no, I'll just keep my coat on.  It's an... affectation of mine.
But I am ready to order, thank you.
	What I would like is your osso buco milanese accompanied by a bottle
of the Mastroberadino with - oh why not? - just a dish of escargot to start.
Oh don't worry about money.  No problem.  Really.  I never concern myself 
with it.
	I'm sorry.  Is there something the matter with your nostrils?  
Anyway, money.  Not a concern.  Why look at me.  I don't even shop.  
Perfectly happy with the clothes I have.  Though I suppose that's why that 
rather nouveau couple over there is examining me so.  Really wish they 
wouldn't.  Damn rude.  The wife, especially.  Do you think you might - ever 
so tactfully of course - request that she not make such disagreeable faces?
You'd think I had an odor or something.  Quite impossible, let me assure 
you. I applied a good swath of roll-on just before I came.  Couldn't quite 
manage a shower, I'm afraid.  Lodging difficulties, you know.  Not much 
running water just now.  Never worry about these things myself. Just not a 
materialist, is all. 
	Oh my, truffles! I just noticed those.  Oh I'll take a plate of 
those, oh yes I will!  In fact, make it two, why don't you?  Money's no 
object.  Really.  Don't give it another thought.
	I never do.