Oh my God! You're telling me my roommate is a virgin? That you've never had sex? My god, how can you even admit to being such a freak? Don't you want to be a woman? Don't you want to grow up?

Seriously, I can't begin to tell you what you're missing. You've never made it with a guy? Wait until I tell Rocket. She'll think it's the funniest thing she's ever heard. Oh come on, I have to tell Rocket; we do everything together. Absolutely everything. She won't believe you're a virgin.'Cause Rocket's experienced. I'm telling you, she's an expert. You wouldn't believe some of the things she's taught me. Do you know, I'd never been on a motorcycle until Rocket took me out? She knows what she's doing, let me tell you. She knows things. And all kinds of people too. But someone your age who's a virgin? Seriously? That's one for the records.

'Cause how can you not want to do it? Do you know how a guy can make you feel? Can you imagine it, huh? I can't begin to tell you how good it feels. I wouldn't even know where to start.

What I can tell you, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing that my roommate hasn't done it. That's just not right, hon'. You've got to get with the program. You've got to be like everyone else. 'Cause otherwise people are going to start looking at you funny, and then that's going to rub off on me, 'cause I'm your roommate. And people will start talking, about you, about you and me. And me and Rocket. And I really don't want that.

I don't want people talking about me and Rocket just because you're such a freak.

Copyright 2011 James B. Chevallier